What? What kind of quote is that? I am supposed to trust in God?
I got it all figured out. "If I am so smart why are things such a mess?"
And yet if I was hurt and there happened to be a very skilled surgeon would I go elsewhere? That would be insane wouldn't it?

Would I go to a mechanic for a heart problem? Where would I go for a soul problem?

Would it be totally insane to go to an eye doctor for a soul problem? Years ago at a protest, I leaned on a statue, my back was hurting and I couldn't get up.

The marble looking figure was made of paper mache.

Having leaned on the wrong individuals in life and the incorrect lessons, was definitely my fault. How often do I lean on my own knowledge and understanding? Still when those finger pointing exercises occur, and we are told that when you point one finger at them you are pointing three at yourself. Personally, I take 100 percent responsibility for 50 percent of my actions. Sometimes the only finger I point at people is the middle one.

Would be totally insane to ask for help and seek out that which has more knowledge than I do?

Shame me for noticing these things. It is a chance to forgive myself for not being able to breakthrough and for not being clever, snake like or dove like or sparrow like in life. The house is on fire and unfortunately it is my hear that should be on fire. Part of Notre Dame was taken away, it is said that they can't replace the long beams because the trees are no longer in existence.

Who would of ever thought? And the giraffe will soon be on the endangered species list. Each day one species dies and man has only one species. Do you like the giraffe?

They are like children sitting in the marketplace and calling out to one another: ‘We played the flute for you, and you did not dance; we sang a dirge, and you did not weep.’ For John the Baptist came neither eating bread nor drinking wine, and you say, ‘He has a demon!’ The Son of Man came eating and drinking, and you say, ‘Look at this glutton and drunkard, a friend of tax collectors and of sinners!’…

When those creating horseless carriages came on the scene those who made wagon wheels despised them. You to are supposed to be despised at times it is a badge of honor. Ouch.

Are you in OW or in AWE?

Lots of work needs to be done on me.

Living a life of poverty on purpose isn't exactly fun, you don't get the nice awards and fancy clothes. Noticing the pigeons, they love their food, I noticed they have a better personality than I and most individuals and yet they are unloved and do the worst jobs. They are simply happy to be alive.

Certainly, in the items I have mentioned, I do not think that the church has the time, energy, courage, vision or wherewithal to accomplish the things that I seek. People are afraid to make a decision or you can't find the one that has the power to do so.  Wait I started out thinking they did have the resources and then found out they didn't and realized they were plagued with fear and social proof let the other person do it-I have done enough-it's good enough-why me sickness.

So I surmise that they don't have the power to do anything. Take me to your leader. There I go chasing another windmill. What am I chasing?

Shane Claiborne, talked about creating the church that he wanted to see and he did. I met him years ago. How dare he challenge me. So this is my confession, a life of not being crazy enough for God or loving enough. Am I loving or limping through life?